Habits and Identity — “I’m someone who…”
The type of person we believe we are determines our habits, and our habits determine the type of person we are, and who we become.
I've noticed lately in conversations with friends, clients and colleagues how often frustrations about establishing and changing habits come up. One friend who’s a violin teacher, laments losing clients who can’t seem to get themselves to practice regularly between lessons. They say they want to learn to play, yet day after day, week after week, they don’t manage to practice.
Another friend wants to reduce her daily sugar consumption, understanding its impact on her health and weight, yet is finding it challenging to break her habit of grabbing sweet treats afternoons and evenings when she is stressed, tired or bored.
As for me, I used to run a few times a week with my dog. These runs were highlights in my week as they helped me feel strong, calm and sane. Yet, I haven’t run for months now after getting out of the habit over the holidays and due to illness recently in my family. Now, I no longer see myself as someone who runs — a runner. I feel I’ve lost that identity — that view of who I am and what I do. And, sadly, my now lazy dog has too!
Habits Are Key to Showing Up as the Person We Want to Be
Habits are activities like brushing your teeth or exercise, or getting up each day to watch the sunrise. And, they are also how you routinely interact with others like saying please and thank you, being a good listener, or bringing a morning coffee to your partner. Habits can be things we deem undesirable such as smoking, being sedentary or consuming too much sugar, junk food or alcohol.
Habit is a double-edged sword that can work for or against you. Once you have truly adopted a habit, it becomes part of your identity making it challenging to change… or easy to maintain.
The Psychology of Habits
Habits are more than just actions; they are reflections of our inner beliefs and self-image, and can have dramatic effects on our future actions.
Our habits are not just routines that feel automatic; they are cognitive shortcuts that align with our current identity. With habits, we’re not just changing what we do; we're transforming who we are.
“Identity-Based” Habits
People often try to change their habits by focusing on what they ultimately want to achieve, rather than whom they wish to become.
“Identity-based” habits, James Clear says refer to changing your beliefs, worldview, self-image. What you do is an indication of the kind of person you believe you are, consciously or unconsciously. Once your behavior and your identity are aligned, you are not longer pursuing behavior change.
The goal then is:
not to read a book, but to become/be a reader;
not to go for a run, but to become/be a runner;
not to take violin lessons, but to become/be a violinist.
not to stop eating sugar, but to become/be a healthy eater.
To change and establish habits, first, decide who you want to be. This applies to individuals, teams, organizations and governments. What do you stand for? What is most important to you? What are your values? Who do you wish to become?
Understanding and accepting the connection between our habits and our identities is crucial for making the shifts we desire in our lives.
In the coming posts, we'll dive deeper into the strategies for changing and forming habits and shifting to align with our desired identities — who we want to be - how we wish to show up personally and professionally, and for ourselves and others.
